This work was last updated November 14, 2019

9:54pm

Hey dude, so I’m in a bit of a pickle here. See, you’re probably reading this after all of this happened. I was in this stall once, probably doing the same thing you’re doing now. But see, you probably purposefully locked this door assuming that you’ll be able to get out again in a few minutes. The difference between you and I is that you’ll be able to, and I wasn’t.

I’m stuck in this fucking stall and I can’t get out.

11:27pm

As you’ve probably noticed, this stall doesn’t have an open space I can crawl out of. So like, I’ve been yelling for a while now for someone to come help, but nobody’s coming. Of course I had to go to the bathroom right after class ended, and of course I had to choose the really out of the way bathroom (they never run out of toilet paper in here cause nobody comes here). So, of course, nobody’s gonna come. Maybe a custodian will come clean this place up and unlock the door? Maybe? I don’t know.

1:03am

How’s life? What courses are you taking right now? Did your midterms go okay? I hope they went okay. I mean, mine went okay, I guess. I passed all of them. That’s okay, right? If I pass everything, maybe I can get into grad school. I know someone who got into grad school with a C average.

Oh, who am I kidding. If I can’t get out of this stall, I’ll never get into grad school.

I should start my own grad program! A Masters in Being Stuck In The Goddamn Bathroom Like An Idiot. Yeah. Maybe I should shorten that.

5:56am

Sorry, I managed to fall asleep. Thank god for the winter cause I had my winter coat for a pillow. This building is always too warm, but it was just right for me to take a nap without needing a blanket.

Wait, I hear something.

6:07am

Goodbye friend, you’ve been a welcome companion in this bathroom stall. I’ve been saved now, so I must depart. I hope you have a good life, and that you never get stuck in the bathroom like I did. Or do, if you want that, I won’t stop you.